01.16.08

It’s Like We’re Clark And Ellen Griswold

Posted in Travel at 22:33 by Jeff

Ed. Note: The following post is very long and detailed. If you have a hard time reading, or get bored easily, or heard this in person, you may want to skip it.

With the holidays behind us, and a couple of weeks to cool off, I can now write about our journey to (and from) the U.S. for Christmas and New Year’s. And what an ordeal that was.

Staci & I take the train to the airport, get checked in and grab something to eat before our long day of traveling. We find a spot at the gate and relax while waiting to board. (This would be the last bit of serenity for the next couple of days.) Things are a little behind due to a snow storm and freeze moving through northern Europe, but nothing too bad (so we thought.) After ~45min delay, we finally get boarded and depart.

The first leg of our journey would take us to London’s Heathrow Airport. What a piece of shit that airport is. Tons of construction and expansion, but seemingly no order or reason to any of it other than to make life difficult for all who are just passing through on the way to other destinations.

Back to the trip. Upon landing at Heathrow, we sat between runways for ~10min, then our plane was moved closer to the gates. Not to our gate, just near the gates in general, where we proceeded to sit for another hour or so until our gate opened up. This wasn’t because the airport was backed up. No, it was because our flight was late to begin with, so they’d given up our gate to another flight that was running on time. And of course since we were already late, making our flight later was a way to minimize delays for the rest of the airport.

When we finally got off the plane, we had ~15min to go through customs, take a bus to the terminal our flight to Chicago was leaving from, get our seat assignments, go through security and get to our gate. Needless to say it wasn’t going to happen. (The amount of time it takes just to go from the terminal to customs is ~15min, and that’s just getting to customs, not actually waiting in line and getting checked through.)

After getting through customs and taking the bus to Terminal 4 (from Terminal 1), we stopped at the American Airlines ticket desk in the secured area that’s used for travelers connecting to other flights. They tell us the flight’s gone (of course) and that we need to go back to Terminal 1 to have British Airways (who our flight from Amsterdam to London was on) to their ticket counter so they can find us new flights to Columbus. We waited in line for ~20min, then got to talk to a really polite woman named Lyn. Lyn typed into her computer for ~1hr (no exaggeration) trying to find us any flights that day to get to the U.S. By the time we even started talking with Lyn it was ~3:30P local time. She said typically the last set of international flights to North America leave by ~4-4:30P. There was a flight leaving at 7:30P to NYC that got in @ ~10:30P EST, but there were no flights from there to Columbus that night and the flight already had a standby list forming, so there was no guarantee she could even get us on it, plus she couldn’t get us a hotel there so we would have had to sleep in the airport, and that was just not going to happen. There was a flight to Chicago @ 4:15P, but it was already over-booked and had a long standby list.

Our only option at this point was to have them put us up in a hotel room and arrange for flights for the next day. She arranged flights for us for the next day, rerouting us through Toronto on British Airways, then from Toronto to Columbus. The Toronto to Columbus leg she said we had a choice of either Air Canada or United. We chose United, not knowing that it was the same flight just a different flight number. (The flight was a code share operated by Air Canada. This will be important info later.) After arranging our flights, Lyn booked us into the Airport Hilton that was attached to Terminal 4, which was unusual because they were sending just about everyone else that was in line to a hotel that was ~15min bus ride away. Lyn told us that since we were leaving from Terminal 4 the next morning that getting the more expensive hotel made things easier. She was right.

While finishing up with the hotel and flight changes, we asked about our bags and if we were able to get them so we could change clothes, etc. Nope. The bags could be anywhere, and the amount of time to track them down wouldn’t be practical. (I have to agree with her. It’s was possible our bags were on the 4:15P flight to Chicago, or were just in Terminal 1, and it could have taken hours for them to find them and bring them to us.) They gave us overnight kits that had toothbrush, shampoo, etc., to tide us over, though. May not sound like much, but it was nice that they already had packages to hand us instead of us having to track it down ourselves and sending in receipts and waiting months for reimbursement. We were also given meal vouchers for dinner and breakfast, so we were covered there, too. All in all, despite the delays, missing our connection and having to extend our travel time by a day, things weren’t too bad at this point.

We walk to the hotel to get checked in and relax for a few minutes before dinner opened. The woman at the front desk asks if we want a room with a queen bed or two singles. “A queen bed” is my response. We’re given our key-cards and we head to our room. We get there, and it’s two singles. We go back to the front desk and the woman is helping someone else, so we talk to the guy that’s available. We tell him we asked for a queen room. He said British Airways only authorized a room with 2 single beds. I tell him that the woman to his right said we had a choice and we asked for the queen. It looked, for a second, that he was going to start arguing with me about it, but then he stopped as he was going to say something, typed into his computer and gave us key-cards to a queen room. I was shocked. I was really expecting to have to fight him and talk to the manager. Luckily that didn’t happen.

I should mention that I was being very calm and polite throughout the ordeal with both the airline and the hotel on the first day. Staci will vouch for this.

After finally getting to our room and relaxing for a bit, grabbing some dinner and coming back to the room to watch some TV and sleep, the day was over. We figured we’d get up in the morning, shower, grab some breakfast downstairs, and be on our way, finishing up our journey home in an uneventful manner.

We were wrong.

The next day started off as we’d hoped, but after breakfast and checking out of the hotel, things got fucked again. The tickets we were given by Lyn the night before were paper tickets, meaning we had to go check-in and get boarding passes. No big deal, except that none of the British Airways people that we talked to knew which ticket area to go to. They had all the ticket counters in Terminal 4, but you had to go to a certain zone for certain flights. The first answer we got was to go to Zone 4, which we were standing in front of, but she was looking at the wrong flight. Before I had a chance to correct her with our proper flight information, she walked away. We found someone else with a clipboard, who told us to go to Zone 1. We get to Zone 1, and they’re closing off the lines. We ask the woman with the clipboard where to go, and she says Zone 4. We tell her they sent us down here. She then says, without looking at her clipboard, to go to Zone 2. We walk to Zone 2 and ask the man with the clipboard if we’re in the right place. “No, you should be at Zone 4.” We tell him that we were sent from Zone 4 to Zone 1 then to him at Zone 2. He then takes us to the customer service line and says they can help us. After ~40min in line (and ~20min trying to find the right Zone,) and another ~15min talking to the customer service rep, we finally get our boarding passes and our luggage tags in the computer system updated to our new flight information, we’re ready to walk through security.

At this point we have ~1h15m until our flight leaves. We have one small carry on bag with rollers and a handle, my backpack for my laptop and Staci backpack for her laptop. This is what we carried on the plane from Amsterdam to London and through security 3 separate times the day before in Heathrow. As we’re getting ready to go through security to go to the departure gate, a security guard stops me and says I have to check one of the two bags I’ve got as only 1 bag is allowed. I tell him that it was fine 3 times yesterday through security in Heathrow. He says one bag only, and I have to check one, but I can just come through the rope he let me out rather than getting back in line.

(My frustration level at this point in the morning is already off the chart. Not sure why a good night’s sleep and and easy walk to the airport from the hotel would make me less tolerant that morning than I was the afternoon before, but it did. Probably because I was thinking we were going to miss our flight in Toronto to Columbus and we’d have to extend our travels by yet another day.)

I go to the ticket counter I was instructed to go to, by-passing the long line, only to discover there was no one there. The woman working the next area says there is someone there and they’ll be right back. ~5min later someone comes up with more people to put their bags through. She helps them first as she was already with them. When she was done with them, she then says that she can’t help me and she’ll try and find someone for me. I tell her that we just need to check the carry-on. She relents and checks the bag in. We cut back into the security line, and while Staci gets put in a line that moves right on through, I get separated from her and put in a line that only has people in it that are too stupid to be prepared when they get to the x-ray machine. Of the 6 people immediately in front of me in line, 5 had to be told they needed to take their shoes, coats and belts off and their laptops out of their bags. It took me ~15min to get through security while it took Staci ~5min.

We finally get through security and walk to our gate only to discover the flight is delayed. Great. We only had ~1h50m in Toronto to claim our bags, go through customs, recheck our bags, take the tram to the terminal where our flight was leaving from, go to ticketing to get boarding passes, go through U.S. customs (they pre-clear you in Toronto for the U.S., which is actually a good idea) then catch a bus to the not-connected-to-the-main-airport-at-all-terminal from where I flight was departing.

After ~45m delay, we board and depart for Toronto. Once we get airborne and the in-flight entertainment is started up, insult is added to injury: my in-flight system doesn’t work. (This isn’t really a bad thing. I had a book and my iPhone loaded with music and movies, but it was just fitting when thinking about everything else that had happened so far.)

Aside from the in-flight entertainment not working for me and the change of flights screwing up Staci’s vegetarian meals (meaning they didn’t have any for her, though it was rectified in flight,) the flight to Toronto was uneventful. They made up some of the time lost and we arrived pretty close to on-time.

When I say we, I mean Staci & I, but not our luggage. Well, at least not the two bags with all of our clothing in it. We found this out when we were waiting in baggage claim and they called out my name over the loudspeaker as I was grabbing the carry-on we had to check-in at London. I send Staci over to see what they want while I wait for the other 2 bags. I look over after a minute or so, and Staci’s waiving me over. Staci says to me, “The bags aren’t coming.” I ask the lady at the counter where they are. “Sir, they could be anywhere. Things like this happen.” I almost punched her in the face. I understand that they could be anywhere and these things happen, but that was not what I needed to hear. What she could have said and I would have been fine with was, “I’m sorry, we don’t know where your bags are, but we’re doing what we can to locate them.” Throw in a friendly demeanor (she was a little curt) and I would have been fine.

“I think it’s in Terminal 1,” she says.

“It? There were two bags, ” I say.

Silence from her. She then says we need to fill out a lost bag form and another form to take with us through the Canadian customs baggage check-point so they’d know we had our bags lost and they could be inspected without us. We fill those out, go through customs, catch the tram to the terminal from where our flight was leaving, then head to the United ticketing counter. After trying to get boarding passes from the e-ticket machine to no avail, we get in line to talk to the counter people. It’s a short line, just a few people, and though time is a little tight, it’s no big deal. (I’m actually quite pissed off at this point and can’t even talk without just being angry. Staci was going to divorce me at least twice by the time the day was over.)

Staci talks to the ticket guy and he says we have to go to Air Canada’s ticket agents. They were just a code share and only part of the flight from the sales perspective. Great, so we hoof it over to the Air Canada lines, only to be greeted with a line of ~200 people and the e-ticket machines not working for us. I tell Staci to get in line and I go ask the guy with the clipboard if we can cut since we have a flight in ~45min. He says sure and to wait right next to him. I call Staci over, we get our boarding passes, then head to U.S. Customs pre-screening. After ~15min in that line, and the agent looking at me funy because I said we were coming from Amsterdam and we had no gifts, then we changed it to “some ornaments,” he let us through and we caught the bus to our terminal with time to spare. Granted, I’m still in a pissy mood and I’m unbearable to be around, but we get to the terminal none-the-less.

Getting to the terminal and sitting down and having a minute to relax finally calmed me down. At that point I was just so exhausted from being frustrated, but I also knew we were almost home and baring a catastrophe, we were going to make it. So I chilled.

The flight to Columbus was uneventful. We were on a small 20 seat turbo-prop. The flight was ~1h20m and smooth. We got to Columbus, called our ride, then went to the baggage claim area to see if United had any more information about our bags. Nope, so we filed a claim and left, though the woman at the counter didn’t give Staci a case number, and never called us with it like she said she would.

So we finally made it back to the condo, luggage-less and worn out, 24hrs later than we were supposed to arrive. Our luggage arrived separately a few days later. Staci’s bag arrive Christmas Eve @ ~10:30P, while my bag arrived ~8:30P Christmas night. It’s a good thing we had clothes and a washing machine at the condo. We could have gone shopping to replace stuff, but it being Christmas the malls were packed.

And that’s why we use GUIDs. So that’s the end of our our Journey home. I warned you it’d be a long story. Don’t worry, the trip home wasn’t quite as eventful. We made all of our flights, even got through Heathrow fine. Only one bag was lost, and that was delivered to our apartment the next afternoon.

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